Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
