As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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