Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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