Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
