i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
