Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
