I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize