Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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