can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
