Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
