thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
