for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
