DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
