Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
