There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
