I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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