No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's the barista slut.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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