When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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