Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
