So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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