If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize