We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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