In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...