would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
