If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
