You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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