are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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