I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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