It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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