He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
