12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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