so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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