Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
