when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
