Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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