is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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