Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize