Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
