so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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