Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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