Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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