so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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