this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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