So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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