i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?