I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
