they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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