Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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