bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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