We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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