wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
