somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
