Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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