I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
