i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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