shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
