I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
