Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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