I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
