Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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