I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
