I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
