Your face is a jimmy john
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
