no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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