They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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