If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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